Never started... ... ... It's over!!!

It was in year 1998. I was sad that I had failed 3 papers for my poly year 1 sem 1. Aiyo so down and sad... No one to talk to... think my friends will laugh their heads off... ... ...

So I went to play bowling at the AMK Big Mac (I think so. Now it's the party world) ALONE!!! My god, for the first few times I actually went to do these thing alone. Then these people, Annie, Charlie, Jeffery, Lucas and Meraline, came up to me and ask me if I want to join them for the bowl. For Annie and Charlie, they are an item. Lucas and Meraline are in courtship stage. Jeffery was in lonely stage (that time he just broke up with his girlfriend lah)... Aiyo so of cos, I was paired up with him lor. After a while, we get to know each other better.

They are 3 years my senior, they had graduate from poly then. Charlie, Lucas and Jeffery were awaiting for enlistment of NS. They were all good friends lah.

During the game, they ask about me. I shared with them my failures and as "SENIORS" they shared their experience with me and give me the encouragements. Hehe... Was feeling better after that and then we went for dinner together. After which we exchanged numbers lah. At that time, hand phone was just the "in" thingy.

The following weekend they ask me out. But I told them that I had to retake my exam lah. I remembered that I had to take Statistics, Marketing and Economics. Wah, Annie offered to help me out to revised leh. Never expected that lor. Was only friends for few days and they are willing to help me. So we went to the AMK Mac and she help me revise.
The good news was that I managed to cleared 2 out of the 3 papers.

After the papers, they still ask me out. We soon become good friends and share a lot of experience and fun. They also share the unhappy times with me.
The guys went into NS and the ladies start work. We still meet on weekends and sometimes weekdays with the ladies.

So as times goes by... We met often and look like our friendship grow stronger and we alway share our experience with each other. Life was peaceful and nice at that time.

As usual, I was left with Jeffery and the couples always lovely dovey.... Sad sad sad... ... ... I never experience love mah. So Jeffery will always says all the craps and stuffs. Blah blah blah... By 3rd year, they finish their NS
I manage to finish my poly years in 4 years lah.

After I started to work, we manage to meet often as well. I think I job hopped often cos I cannot blend into their culture.


Then in my 2nd job, in 2003 ... .... ...

It's a Malaysian owned company in ulu ulu Senoko... And I alway stay back late... So must always called cab. But then the taxi on call not so on lah at that time. So I complained to they and tell them that it's difficult to get a cab at my workplace then and I would walk out to the main road alone, which they feel not safe. So Mr Jeffery, who also just move to Yishun will call me sometimes to ask if I need a ride from him. Or he will make me call him when I cannot make it home early. I very thin skinned so I don't call him unnecessarily. However, I think that by not calling him had instead make him making a trip purposely to just see if I had gone home. As times goes by, I begin to like him... We are human beings and we have feeling mah.

So as times goes by, the feeling is stronger and I thought that he would never like me as he did not have a girlfriend since he broke up. I was told also that he still likes his ex a lot. So why do something that you have no confidence about. People call that low self esteem.

In the later part, I decide to quit the job also trying to stop the inconvenience and some principles issues in the job. Frankly, it's also a way to stop or rather lessen the chance of meeting him.

We do meet, but not that often. Annie and Charlie were then married. Lucas and Meraline still in courtship. Jeffery still single.
But then... Things does not always happened as planned.

In the 3rd job... ... In Oct 2003
I have this "KPO" colleague, always trying to match make people. So I alway try to escape lah. It's near the Macpherson. Very ulu also. But then I move to my grandma's place already. At that time, I only went home once a week. So only on Friday, I will go home.

But coming back to the colleague, she tried to introduce many guys lah. For me, I think I would prefer to know the guys myself lor. So I always make excuses to escape.
At that time, I was staying at Ah Mah's place, I only managed to meet my group of friends once every fortnight. So these big brothers and sisters will still ask me about the things lah. I would just complain to them about the colleague.
There was once the match making becomes too serious and aggresive that I called Annie for help. She then called Jeffery to rescues me. He was waiting outside at the restaurant while I had dinner with my colleague and friends. When we are out, he just come over and held my hand. Was too shocked at that time. So happy..., so excited..., so 'ganjong'..., so paisay and all mixed feelings just came about at that time. So I bid farewell to the colleagues and friends and went off with him in his car.
Hahaha... So happy at that time. But inside his car, he made me call Annie and she in turn scold me for always giving in to people. He kept quiet throughout the journey and brought me to my void deck and told me off. He made some sarcastic remarks about me "DESPERATE" of getting guys. However, that wasn't the case and he sound as though he's insulting me. So I felt wronged and just went back home angrily.
After this incident, we did not talked for a long time. However, there's 1 thing I was sure at that time. I really liked him at that time and was hurting that he did not understand me that well. It went on for quite a while.
Finally, he made the 1st move to apologise during my birthday. He had arrange a gathering and had a celebration with the friends during my birthday.
Something happened. We were all quite drunk already at that time. We were all taking turns to share about our future. I was actually lost and doesn't feel comfortable. I started crying and was unable to talk as I don't know how my future will be like. Then Annie and Jeffery were comforting me then. I felt I was the loser then. Jeffery was very gentle then. He said something and I vividly heard that something though I was a bit drunk. He said that if there's no one to marry me, then he will look after me and marry me when I'm 30. That's 7 years from then. However, I wished I did not take it to heart then. Otherwise I would not be so unhappy today.
During the following year, we met up often but did not breathe a word about that night. I could have mistook his words or we were all too drunk to take it seriously. In that year, we went out as normal and finally, he went to Australia to further studies. We still kept in touch but have gradually distant ourselves.


The last I heard was Annie and Charlie have a daughter. Lucas and Meraline are also getting married soon. Jeffery... he met his fiancee in Australia and he asked all of us to give him our blessings... I do sincerely congrats him and will learn to put my feelings for him aside.............

Come on guys, life still continue lah. I'm OK!!! Don't worry lah. But it has never started and it's over!!!